Tamar: A Woman Abandoned

(Genesis 38:6-30; Matthew 1:3)

In the New Testament book of Matthew we read the genealogy of Jesus Christ. In that genealogy God has included a name that surprises us. First of all, it is the name of a woman. Genealogies were extremely important legal documents in the ancient world and women were not generally included in them. Secondly, this woman was not one most people would have wanted included in their family tree. She was a Canaanite and an immoral woman, willing to do whatever it took to be part of the family of Abraham. Let’s go to the Old Testament book of Genesis and see if we can determine why Tamar was so significant that God included her in the genealogy of His Son.

The Name:

The name “Tamar” means “date tree.”

The Background:

In order to understand Tamar’s life and actions we must first understand that families in ancient Israel functioned  differently than they do in our culture. The production of an heir in Israel was very importance. To die without one was to disrupt the family inheritance. This became especially urgent when God divided the land of Canaan among the families of Israel. God instructed them to do everything they could to keep the land they had received within the family.

One of the ways the inheritance was kept in the family was by practicing what would later be known as levirate marriage. Levirite marriage was commanded by God and is described in Deuteronomy 25:5-6. When a married man died before a child was born, his widow was forbidden to marry outside the family. Another brother in the family was to marry her for the purpose of producing a son. The first son of that union was named after the deceased brother and inherited his property. Although the law had not yet been given to Moses, there is evidence that this kind of provision for inheritance was practiced long before the Israelites received the law.

 The Story—Please read Tamar’s story in Genesis 38:6-30

Tamar became an Israelite by marrying into the family of Judah, who chose her to be the wife of his oldest son, Er. The Bible says Er was wicked and God took his life before children were born to him and Tamar. Er’s wickedness is not described but the Hebrew word that is used indicates that it was extremely awful.

Judah had a second son named Onan and the law of levirate marriage required that Tamar be given to him as a wife so that her deceased husband would have a son to carry on his line. Onan was unwilling to father a child for his brother. He refused to obey God and impregnate Tamar and God took his life also.

There was one more son in the family but Judah was reluctant to marry the younger son to Tamar. Apparently he held her responsible for the deaths of the older sons. He told Tamar to go back to her father’s house and promised that when his younger son was old enough he would send for her and make her his wife.

Tamar returned to her childhood home. As a widow she was totally without status in the community of the ancient world. She was dependent on her father or brothers for her living. Because of her failure to bear children she was considered to be cursed and she would have no one to care for her in her old age. Because she was “promised” Judah’s younger son, Shelah, she could not better her circumstances by remarrying. She was regarded as a nonperson.

The years went by, Judah’s younger son grew up, and Judah did not acted on his promise. Finally Tamar decided to take things into her own hands. She disguised herself as a prostitute and sat by the side of the road that she knew her father-in-law would be traveling. Not knowing her identity, the widowed Judah agreed to pay her a price to sleep with her.

When Judah learned that Tamar was pregnant he was enraged and declared that she should be brought out and burned to death. When she presented proof that Judah was the father of her children he relented, recognizing his own sin. The result of this incestuous relationship was the birth of twin boys, one of whom was the ancestor of Jesus Christ the Messiah.

Why did God include a sordid story like this in the Bible? Two people, both guilty of immorality and a gross immorality at that,one a descendant of Abraham who should have known better and the other a Canaanite woman.Why did He include a man and a woman like Judah and Tamar in the parentage of Jesus?

He did not include them because He approves of sin. God never condoned the sin of Tamar and Judah. He did, however, use these two as an illustration of what He can do with sinful people. God takes sinful people who are imperfect, even immoral, and He fits them into His plan. Someone has rightly said that the Bible is not a gallery of heroes. It is the story of people like you and me who find to our surprise that God can use us in spite of ourselves. By including the story of Tamar and Judah in His genealogy, Jesus identified with sinners and that offers hope to each one of us.

If you had been planning the human genealogy of God’s Son, would you have included Tamar and Judah? Would you have included an episode of incest in the history of the Messiah’s family? Probably not. We would have cleaned up the story and used some more refined people. But God accepts us as we are. He knows we are sinners and He expects us to act like sinners if left to ourselves. And God counts the sins that we consider “little ones” as serious as Tamar’s “big sin.”

However desperate your circumstances and however deep your sin, God loves you. Although you struggle with bad habits, weaknesses, and sin, there is hope. If God could use Tamar to accomplish His purpose, He can certainly use you and me!

Something to think about

1.      Try to imagine yourself in Tamar’s shoes, no husband, no children, no income, no hope of life improving. How desperate and alone she must have felt. Have you ever felt desperate and lonely like Tamar and been willing to do whatever it took to feel better? How did you handle your despair?

2.      Can you think of anything Tamar could have chosen that would have been better than the one she made? Could you have chosen a better response yourself?

3.      Tamar’s father-in-law, Judah acted as a hypocrite in condemning her for her immorality when he was guilty of the same sin. Often we are inclined to condemn others for sins that we ourselves struggle with. Look up the following verses relating to this issue.

      Matthew 7:1-5

      Luke 6:37

      Romans 2:1-2

      James 2:13

      James 4:11-12

4.      God demonstrated His grace when He included Tamar in the genealogy of His Son. He wants you to know that you, too, can be forgiven and used by Him no matter what the bad choices of your past have been.

a.       Have you confessed the sins of your past to God and asked Him to cover you with the blood of Jesus and make you part of His family?

b.      Do you believe God loves you and forgives you for all those things?

c.       Have you accepted God’s forgiveness and left the past behind?

d.      Are you available for God’s use now?

God is so good to us. He takes us where we are and transforms us into what He wants us to become. He does it as an act of mercy and grace—not because we deserve it or earn it. Rejoice in His forgiveness of Tamar and of you!!


If you would like to study more about women in the Bible, you will find my recently published book entitled"Women Just Like Us" available on Amazon.