Mary: What was it like to be the Mother of the Messiah?

Taken from the book, "Women Just Like Us"

  (Matthew 1, 2, 26-28; Luke 1 and 2; John 19-21; Acts 1 and 2)

Mary, what an amazing woman she was--she is regarded as almost divine by many but in fact, she was a woman much like you and me. She had struggles, worries, emotions, and thoughts much like those you and I face daily. Let's take time this Christmas to remember Mary and imagine what her pregnancy and the birth of Jesus were like for her.

The Names

Mary means "bitter, grieved, rebellious," an interesting name for the woman who would be the mother of the Messiah.

The name Jesus means "Savior"

Mary's Story - Read Luke 1:26-38 and Matthew 1:18-25.

Out in the countryside of Galilee life was going on as usual. In the little town of Nazareth, nestled among the hills, the seasons came and went, the crops flourished or failed and life was pretty ordinary for the teens in town. All except Mary, that is. Mary was excited. She went about her daily chores with cheerfulness and occasionally broke into song as she contemplated her coming marriage.

As long as Mary could remember she had known that her family had an arrangement with another family in town that would provide her with a husband. She knew her father had promised her to Joseph and whenever she had the chance she watched this strong man go about town. She wondered what it would be like to be married to him. She wondered if he would like her. Neither she nor Joseph had had any say in the original agreement to marry them to each other, but neither of them would have considered objecting to the arrangement. This was just the way it was done in Israel.

The betrothal, which was the second step in the process of marriage, had been announced only recently. The betrothal period was formal and much more binding that the engagement period we are acquainted with. After the betrothal was announced, the union was legal and could only be broken by an official divorce. During the betrothal period Mary continued to live in the home of her father while Joseph began to build a house for them to occupy after the actual marriage ceremony. Sexual relations were not permitted during the betrothal even though the bride and the groom were legally bound to each other.

No one, not even Mary and Joseph, knew when the marriage ceremony would take place. It was up to the groom's father to determine when the couple's home was ready to be occupied and to send Joseph to collect his bride. It could happen at any time of the day or night and part of the fun was the secrecy. When Joseph's father gave the word, the official marriage ceremony would occur and the bride and groom would begin their life together.

Mary was patiently waiting for the day of her wedding when she received an unexpected visitor, an angel messenger who informed her that she would become a mother before her marriage was consumated. Think about it. Mary was just a simple peasant girl. She lived in a very small and unimportant village in a despised part of the Roman Empire. She was probably quite young, possible only 13 or 14 years of age. She was not of the upper classes, probably not well educated, and certainly not of the right background to be the mother of a king. She was surely very surprised that God had chosen her instead of someone higher up in the Jewish pecking order.

At the time of Jesus' conception Mary and Joseph were engaged and legally bound together. However, they were not yet living together and had not been sexually intimate. Mary knew enough about the facts of life to know that a child must have a father and a mother. No wonder she responded to the angel, "How shall this be since I am a virgin."

It's interesting what Mary didn't say. She didn't say, "Don't be ridiculous, that's impossible." She didn't say, "Absolutely not! I'm not that kind of a girl." She didn't say, "Can I have a little time to think about this? After all, it is going to cause a major disruption of my plans." Mary said, "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

I wonder if Mary had any concept of how much her submission to God would change her life. First of all, she was giving up her good reputation. Nazareth was a small town. Everyone knew everyone else's business. Mary would be whispered about and snickered about and gossiped about as the girl who got pregnant before she got married.

In our century a pregnancy out of marriage is not such a big deal. In fact, it is common and hardly noticed. In Mary's culture it was a very big deal. Mary was asked to become pregnant out of wedlock in a culture where such a pregnancy was grounds for stoning. Even if she was not executed as the Law of Moses required, she would be ostracized from the Jewish community as an immoral woman. For the rest of her life she would hear rumors and innuendos about who the father of her baby might be. The women and girls of Nazareth would tut-tut and whisper behind her back. At the very least, she could expect that her marriage to Joseph would never be consumated. I'm sure Mary was aware of these things but they didn't enter into her response. God had called and she was willing.

How do you respond to God? Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem just a little bit much. Perhaps they seem difficult or unreasonable, humanly speaking. Perhaps they just don't make sense to you. Do you obey such instructions as Mary did with no hesitation in spite of the potential cost to you personally?

The fact that Joseph agreed to wed Mary was not the end of her difficulties. When her pregnancy was full-term she was required to make a seventy mile trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem. In spite of the many pictures of the young couple with their donkey, it is possible that Mary and Joseph traveled on foot. They were poor folks and it is doubtful that they could afford a donkey to carry them. Soon after they arrived in Bethlehem the Son of God was born in a place where animals were sheltered, probably a cave in the rock. His birthplace was surely not like the bright pleasant stable that is pictured in nativity scenes with clean straw and well-kept animals. More likely it was dark and dirty and smelly, full of spiders and animal droppings, hardly the place where one would wish to give birth. The manger in which Jesus was laid was probably a trough cut into the rock walls of the cave. His clothing was rags wrapped tightly around Him in the custom of the times and His obstetrician/midwife was probably His stepfather, Joseph.

Have you ever thought of how Mary felt as she and Joseph made the long and tiring journey and then delivered Mary's baby all alone? They had to be exhausted and we don't know if either of them had attended a delivery before. It must have been a frightening experience. They would have been concerned about the health of their baby and His mother in those lowly accommodations. Perhaps they wondered about the financial future of their family. How would they provide for a baby so far from home? Surely God asked a lot of them that night. They are an example of the deep and abiding faith that trusts when life is confusing and difficult.

The story of Mary does not end there. We think she was widowed while still young because Joseph is not mentioned in the Bible after Jesus' childhood. She became the mother of a homeless, traveling Rabbi who was out of favor with those in power. She saw Him falsely accused, maligned, arrested and crucified. In her later years she lived in the home of Jesus' friend John. Her life was anything but normal and she experienced deep pain and loss.

Did Mary regret her decision to be the "handmaiden of the Lord"? I doubt it. She may have wondered and even doubted as her Son's life took a very different track than she expected. I'm sure her heart ached and she wept often. However, I'm sure her faith and trust in God remained strong. She was surely called to a difficult life but what a rich reward to stand before her Son and hear Him say to her, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" And perhaps, "Thank you, Mother."

Jill Brisco has written a thought provoking poem about Mary that challenged me and will touch you I'm sure.

​​​CHOOSING TO BE CHOSEN

​​​​​​​​How many Marys, Lord, were there? How many times did you try?
How often did Gabriel venture through the myriad stars of the sky?
How many miniscule humans? How many a devout little maid
Heard your request for a body and answered you thus so afraid.
"My love, Lord, you have it. My will, Lord is Thine.
I, to mighty Jehovah, my worship assign,
But my body, my body, my body, 'tis mine."

​How many Marys, Lord, were there, till Gabriel found her at prayer?
How many angels in glory, were wondrously envious of her?
And how did it feel, Lord, to see her, and watch at your feet as she fell?
As she yielded her soul and her spirit and gave you a body as well?
"My love, Lord, you have it. My will, Lord, 'tis Thine.
I, to mighty Jehovah, my worship assign,
And my body, my body, my body, 'tis thine!"

(From Heartbeat by Jill Briscoe, Copyright 1991, Harold Shaw Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois, pg. 37)

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

1. What most impresses you about Mary's life and choices?

2. What does Mary's song reveal about Mary? (Luke 1:46-55)

3. Try to put yourself in Mary's position as she prepared to give birth in a stable (probably a cave in the hillside near Bethlehem. Think of what she might have felt, heard, smelled, and feared.

4. Simon said a sword would pierce Mary's heart. The following passages describe some of Mary's experiences that may have been very painful to her. After reading each passage determine how the experience may have impacted Mary.

• John 2:1-11
• Luke 11:27-28
• Matthew 12:46-50
• John 19:25

5. What a challenge—to willingly surrender all of us, soul, and spirit, even our body to Jesus. Can you make the commitment Mary made today? Or are you continuing to hold something back from the Lord?