Mary: What was it like to be the Mother of the Messiah?

Taken from the book, "Women Just Like Us"

  (Matthew 1, 2, 26-28; Luke 1 and 2; John 19-21; Acts 1 and 2)

Mary, what an amazing woman she was--she is regarded as almost divine by many but in fact, she was a woman much like you and me. She had struggles, worries, emotions, and thoughts much like those you and I face daily. Let's take time this Christmas to remember Mary and imagine what her pregnancy and the birth of Jesus were like for her.

The Names

Mary means "bitter, grieved, rebellious," an interesting name for the woman who would be the mother of the Messiah.

The name Jesus means "Savior"

Mary's Story - Read Luke 1:26-38 and Matthew 1:18-25.

Out in the countryside of Galilee life was going on as usual. In the little town of Nazareth, nestled among the hills, the seasons came and went, the crops flourished or failed and life was pretty ordinary for the teens in town. All except Mary, that is. Mary was excited. She went about her daily chores with cheerfulness and occasionally broke into song as she contemplated her coming marriage.

As long as Mary could remember she had known that her family had an arrangement with another family in town that would provide her with a husband. She knew her father had promised her to Joseph and whenever she had the chance she watched this strong man go about town. She wondered what it would be like to be married to him. She wondered if he would like her. Neither she nor Joseph had had any say in the original agreement to marry them to each other, but neither of them would have considered objecting to the arrangement. This was just the way it was done in Israel.

The betrothal, which was the second step in the process of marriage, had been announced only recently. The betrothal period was formal and much more binding that the engagement period we are acquainted with. After the betrothal was announced, the union was legal and could only be broken by an official divorce. During the betrothal period Mary continued to live in the home of her father while Joseph began to build a house for them to occupy after the actual marriage ceremony. Sexual relations were not permitted during the betrothal even though the bride and the groom were legally bound to each other.

No one, not even Mary and Joseph, knew when the marriage ceremony would take place. It was up to the groom's father to determine when the couple's home was ready to be occupied and to send Joseph to collect his bride. It could happen at any time of the day or night and part of the fun was the secrecy. When Joseph's father gave the word, the official marriage ceremony would occur and the bride and groom would begin their life together.

Mary was patiently waiting for the day of her wedding when she received an unexpected visitor, an angel messenger who informed her that she would become a mother before her marriage was consumated. Think about it. Mary was just a simple peasant girl. She lived in a very small and unimportant village in a despised part of the Roman Empire. She was probably quite young, possible only 13 or 14 years of age. She was not of the upper classes, probably not well educated, and certainly not of the right background to be the mother of a king. She was surely very surprised that God had chosen her instead of someone higher up in the Jewish pecking order.

At the time of Jesus' conception Mary and Joseph were engaged and legally bound together. However, they were not yet living together and had not been sexually intimate. Mary knew enough about the facts of life to know that a child must have a father and a mother. No wonder she responded to the angel, "How shall this be since I am a virgin."

It's interesting what Mary didn't say. She didn't say, "Don't be ridiculous, that's impossible." She didn't say, "Absolutely not! I'm not that kind of a girl." She didn't say, "Can I have a little time to think about this? After all, it is going to cause a major disruption of my plans." Mary said, "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

I wonder if Mary had any concept of how much her submission to God would change her life. First of all, she was giving up her good reputation. Nazareth was a small town. Everyone knew everyone else's business. Mary would be whispered about and snickered about and gossiped about as the girl who got pregnant before she got married.

In our century a pregnancy out of marriage is not such a big deal. In fact, it is common and hardly noticed. In Mary's culture it was a very big deal. Mary was asked to become pregnant out of wedlock in a culture where such a pregnancy was grounds for stoning. Even if she was not executed as the Law of Moses required, she would be ostracized from the Jewish community as an immoral woman. For the rest of her life she would hear rumors and innuendos about who the father of her baby might be. The women and girls of Nazareth would tut-tut and whisper behind her back. At the very least, she could expect that her marriage to Joseph would never be consumated. I'm sure Mary was aware of these things but they didn't enter into her response. God had called and she was willing.

How do you respond to God? Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem just a little bit much. Perhaps they seem difficult or unreasonable, humanly speaking. Perhaps they just don't make sense to you. Do you obey such instructions as Mary did with no hesitation in spite of the potential cost to you personally?

The fact that Joseph agreed to wed Mary was not the end of her difficulties. When her pregnancy was full-term she was required to make a seventy mile trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem. In spite of the many pictures of the young couple with their donkey, it is possible that Mary and Joseph traveled on foot. They were poor folks and it is doubtful that they could afford a donkey to carry them. Soon after they arrived in Bethlehem the Son of God was born in a place where animals were sheltered, probably a cave in the rock. His birthplace was surely not like the bright pleasant stable that is pictured in nativity scenes with clean straw and well-kept animals. More likely it was dark and dirty and smelly, full of spiders and animal droppings, hardly the place where one would wish to give birth. The manger in which Jesus was laid was probably a trough cut into the rock walls of the cave. His clothing was rags wrapped tightly around Him in the custom of the times and His obstetrician/midwife was probably His stepfather, Joseph.

Have you ever thought of how Mary felt as she and Joseph made the long and tiring journey and then delivered Mary's baby all alone? They had to be exhausted and we don't know if either of them had attended a delivery before. It must have been a frightening experience. They would have been concerned about the health of their baby and His mother in those lowly accommodations. Perhaps they wondered about the financial future of their family. How would they provide for a baby so far from home? Surely God asked a lot of them that night. They are an example of the deep and abiding faith that trusts when life is confusing and difficult.

The story of Mary does not end there. We think she was widowed while still young because Joseph is not mentioned in the Bible after Jesus' childhood. She became the mother of a homeless, traveling Rabbi who was out of favor with those in power. She saw Him falsely accused, maligned, arrested and crucified. In her later years she lived in the home of Jesus' friend John. Her life was anything but normal and she experienced deep pain and loss.

Did Mary regret her decision to be the "handmaiden of the Lord"? I doubt it. She may have wondered and even doubted as her Son's life took a very different track than she expected. I'm sure her heart ached and she wept often. However, I'm sure her faith and trust in God remained strong. She was surely called to a difficult life but what a rich reward to stand before her Son and hear Him say to her, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" And perhaps, "Thank you, Mother."

Jill Brisco has written a thought provoking poem about Mary that challenged me and will touch you I'm sure.

​​​CHOOSING TO BE CHOSEN

​​​​​​​​How many Marys, Lord, were there? How many times did you try?
How often did Gabriel venture through the myriad stars of the sky?
How many miniscule humans? How many a devout little maid
Heard your request for a body and answered you thus so afraid.
"My love, Lord, you have it. My will, Lord is Thine.
I, to mighty Jehovah, my worship assign,
But my body, my body, my body, 'tis mine."

​How many Marys, Lord, were there, till Gabriel found her at prayer?
How many angels in glory, were wondrously envious of her?
And how did it feel, Lord, to see her, and watch at your feet as she fell?
As she yielded her soul and her spirit and gave you a body as well?
"My love, Lord, you have it. My will, Lord, 'tis Thine.
I, to mighty Jehovah, my worship assign,
And my body, my body, my body, 'tis thine!"

(From Heartbeat by Jill Briscoe, Copyright 1991, Harold Shaw Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois, pg. 37)

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

1. What most impresses you about Mary's life and choices?

2. What does Mary's song reveal about Mary? (Luke 1:46-55)

3. Try to put yourself in Mary's position as she prepared to give birth in a stable (probably a cave in the hillside near Bethlehem. Think of what she might have felt, heard, smelled, and feared.

4. Simon said a sword would pierce Mary's heart. The following passages describe some of Mary's experiences that may have been very painful to her. After reading each passage determine how the experience may have impacted Mary.

• John 2:1-11
• Luke 11:27-28
• Matthew 12:46-50
• John 19:25

5. What a challenge—to willingly surrender all of us, soul, and spirit, even our body to Jesus. Can you make the commitment Mary made today? Or are you continuing to hold something back from the Lord?     

Joanna: The Quiet Servant

(Luke 8:1-3)

Joanna is a New Testament woman who represents thousands of women who through the years have been touched by the love and healing of the Lord Jesus Christ. She is mentioned only briefly in the Bible but her legacy is one of encouragement and challenge to each of us.

The Name:

The name, Joanna, means “grace or gift of God.”

In Luke 8:1-3 she is listed with several other women who traveled with Jesus and His disciples. She is mentioned again in Luke 23:55 and 24:10.

“After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, ² and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; ³ Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod's household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.”

Luke 23:55-24:11

⁵⁵ The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it. ⁵⁶ Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.

24 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. ² They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, ³ but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. ⁴ While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. ⁵ In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? ⁶ He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ⁷ 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'"  ⁸ Then they remembered his words.

⁹ When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. ¹⁰ It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles (NIV84).

Our first introduction to Joanna is in a list of women who had been healed of evil spirits and diseases by Jesus. We do not know exactly what the Lord did in her mind and body, but from the moment that He touched her, her loyalty and service belonged to Him.

Joanna was married to a man named Cuza (or Chuza) who held a very important position in the household of King Herod. He is called the “manager of Herod’s household” in the NIV. In the NASV and the KJV he is refered to as a steward of the household. The word “steward” is the Greek word epitropos. This word signifies a person who has been entrusted with the guardianship or supervision of another person's belongings.[1] Cuza obviously was very capable and trustworthy. Some scholars think he may have been the nobleman mentioned in John 4:46-53 whose son was healed by Jesus resulting in the salvation of his entire family. If so, we certainly understand why Joanna was so committed to the man who had healed her child and why Joanna’s husband permitted her to be part of His ministry.

As the wife of Cuza, Joanna held a position of some prominence in the hierarchy of the day. However, she is not mentioned in the Bible because of her royal position. God does not comment on her fame or her wealth or her prominence. She is honored because she was a servant, one of a number of women who traveled with Jesus and His disciples, ministering to their needs and helping to support them out of their own personal resources.

Reading between the lines, I see Joanna as a representative of women like you and me. She did not strive for fame or try to impress with her importance as a member of the royal household. As far as we know, she did nothing remarkable enough to draw attention to herself. She was not a public person, not a prophetess or a theologian, or even a teacher. The remarkable thing about Joanna is that she was not remarkable from a human point of view at all. Her only claim to fame is that she was a quiet, faithful servant.

I suspect that Joanna had a meek and quiet spirit. She was faithful in doing her part day by day to minister to Jesus and provide for Him financially so that He could devote His time to ministry. She was faithful in following Him to the cross and remaining with Him until after His body was buried. She was among the first at the tomb on resurrection morning and consequently one of the first to announce Jesus’ resurrection.

Later in the book of Acts (Acts 13:1) we find that there were others in Herod’s household who believed, including Manaon, one of the prophets and teachers who served the church in Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. I wonder if Joanna had some part in the salvation of others in Herod’s household.

I am glad for women like Joanna. Her life reminds me that God values women and He appreciates faithfulness. He honors those who honor Him by serving behind the scenes in ways that frequently go unnoticed and unappreciated by others.

Most of us are not called to be famous or rich. We are not in the public eye, not noticed by the important people. We are not called to greatness in the eyes of the world. But we are called to daily faithfulness. You and I, like Joanna, are called to quiet service for our Lord. Peter says in 1 Peter 3:4-5 that a woman with “. . .a gentle and quiet spirit. . . is of great worth in God's sight.”

We honor the Lord by refusing to spend our days trying to impress the “people who count.” We honor the Lord by choosing to turn away from the things that might advance our own agenda and devoting our time and energy to the things that will advance His.

Sometime when I meet Joanna in glory, I hope I get to hear the rest of her story. I would like to know more about her impact in Herod’s court. I would like to know more about her family and her husband. I would especially like to know what it was like to travel with Jesus and the disciples. I would like to hear more about meeting the needs of Jesus when He walked among us as a man. In the meantime, I pray that my faithful service and yours will prove to be equally effective in the eternal plan of God.

Something to think about:

1. Joanna was cured by Jesus of demonic influence or some other affliction. She responded by serving Him daily for the rest of her life. Of course, all of her efforts (and all of ours) are inadequate to repay the Lord for His goodness. However, our response of gratitude pleases Him.
1. What has Jesus done for you?

2. How have you responded?

3. Does Joanna’s example motivate you in any way? Explain.

2. What does the fact that she was one of the first to witness the resurrection of Jesus and one of the first to announce the good news to others tell you about God’s view of women like Joanna?
3. A number of other women of the New Testament were honored by God for various reasons. Why do you think each of the following women is mentioned in God’s Word?  What was notable about each one?
1. Anna (Luke 2:36-38)

2. Dorcas (Acts 9:36-43)

3. Priscilla (Acts 18:26; Romans 16:3)

4. The daughters of Philip (Acts 21:8-9)

5. Eunice and Lois (2 Tim 1:5; 3:14-15)

You and I are not called to be or do everything these women were and did. However, each of us is called and gifted for ministry by the Lord. Spend some time thinking about what you are gifted at and called by God to do.

---

[1] (from Sparkling Gems from the Greek, © 2003 by Rick Renner. Used by permission. All rights reserved.)

Tamar: A Woman Abandoned

(Genesis 38:6-30; Matthew 1:3)

In the New Testament book of Matthew we read the genealogy of Jesus Christ. In that genealogy God has included a name that surprises us. First of all, it is the name of a woman. Genealogies were extremely important legal documents in the ancient world and women were not generally included in them. Secondly, this woman was not one most people would have wanted included in their family tree. She was a Canaanite and an immoral woman, willing to do whatever it took to be part of the family of Abraham. Let’s go to the Old Testament book of Genesis and see if we can determine why Tamar was so significant that God included her in the genealogy of His Son.

The Name:

The name “Tamar” means “date tree.”

The Background:

In order to understand Tamar’s life and actions we must first understand that families in ancient Israel functioned  differently than they do in our culture. The production of an heir in Israel was very importance. To die without one was to disrupt the family inheritance. This became especially urgent when God divided the land of Canaan among the families of Israel. God instructed them to do everything they could to keep the land they had received within the family.

One of the ways the inheritance was kept in the family was by practicing what would later be known as levirate marriage. Levirite marriage was commanded by God and is described in Deuteronomy 25:5-6. When a married man died before a child was born, his widow was forbidden to marry outside the family. Another brother in the family was to marry her for the purpose of producing a son. The first son of that union was named after the deceased brother and inherited his property. Although the law had not yet been given to Moses, there is evidence that this kind of provision for inheritance was practiced long before the Israelites received the law.

 The Story—Please read Tamar’s story in Genesis 38:6-30

Tamar became an Israelite by marrying into the family of Judah, who chose her to be the wife of his oldest son, Er. The Bible says Er was wicked and God took his life before children were born to him and Tamar. Er’s wickedness is not described but the Hebrew word that is used indicates that it was extremely awful.

Judah had a second son named Onan and the law of levirate marriage required that Tamar be given to him as a wife so that her deceased husband would have a son to carry on his line. Onan was unwilling to father a child for his brother. He refused to obey God and impregnate Tamar and God took his life also.

There was one more son in the family but Judah was reluctant to marry the younger son to Tamar. Apparently he held her responsible for the deaths of the older sons. He told Tamar to go back to her father’s house and promised that when his younger son was old enough he would send for her and make her his wife.

Tamar returned to her childhood home. As a widow she was totally without status in the community of the ancient world. She was dependent on her father or brothers for her living. Because of her failure to bear children she was considered to be cursed and she would have no one to care for her in her old age. Because she was “promised” Judah’s younger son, Shelah, she could not better her circumstances by remarrying. She was regarded as a nonperson.

The years went by, Judah’s younger son grew up, and Judah did not acted on his promise. Finally Tamar decided to take things into her own hands. She disguised herself as a prostitute and sat by the side of the road that she knew her father-in-law would be traveling. Not knowing her identity, the widowed Judah agreed to pay her a price to sleep with her.

When Judah learned that Tamar was pregnant he was enraged and declared that she should be brought out and burned to death. When she presented proof that Judah was the father of her children he relented, recognizing his own sin. The result of this incestuous relationship was the birth of twin boys, one of whom was the ancestor of Jesus Christ the Messiah.

Why did God include a sordid story like this in the Bible? Two people, both guilty of immorality and a gross immorality at that,one a descendant of Abraham who should have known better and the other a Canaanite woman.Why did He include a man and a woman like Judah and Tamar in the parentage of Jesus?

He did not include them because He approves of sin. God never condoned the sin of Tamar and Judah. He did, however, use these two as an illustration of what He can do with sinful people. God takes sinful people who are imperfect, even immoral, and He fits them into His plan. Someone has rightly said that the Bible is not a gallery of heroes. It is the story of people like you and me who find to our surprise that God can use us in spite of ourselves. By including the story of Tamar and Judah in His genealogy, Jesus identified with sinners and that offers hope to each one of us.

If you had been planning the human genealogy of God’s Son, would you have included Tamar and Judah? Would you have included an episode of incest in the history of the Messiah’s family? Probably not. We would have cleaned up the story and used some more refined people. But God accepts us as we are. He knows we are sinners and He expects us to act like sinners if left to ourselves. And God counts the sins that we consider “little ones” as serious as Tamar’s “big sin.”

However desperate your circumstances and however deep your sin, God loves you. Although you struggle with bad habits, weaknesses, and sin, there is hope. If God could use Tamar to accomplish His purpose, He can certainly use you and me!

Something to think about

1.      Try to imagine yourself in Tamar’s shoes, no husband, no children, no income, no hope of life improving. How desperate and alone she must have felt. Have you ever felt desperate and lonely like Tamar and been willing to do whatever it took to feel better? How did you handle your despair?

2.      Can you think of anything Tamar could have chosen that would have been better than the one she made? Could you have chosen a better response yourself?

3.      Tamar’s father-in-law, Judah acted as a hypocrite in condemning her for her immorality when he was guilty of the same sin. Often we are inclined to condemn others for sins that we ourselves struggle with. Look up the following verses relating to this issue.

      Matthew 7:1-5

      Luke 6:37

      Romans 2:1-2

      James 2:13

      James 4:11-12

4.      God demonstrated His grace when He included Tamar in the genealogy of His Son. He wants you to know that you, too, can be forgiven and used by Him no matter what the bad choices of your past have been.

a.       Have you confessed the sins of your past to God and asked Him to cover you with the blood of Jesus and make you part of His family?

b.      Do you believe God loves you and forgives you for all those things?

c.       Have you accepted God’s forgiveness and left the past behind?

d.      Are you available for God’s use now?

God is so good to us. He takes us where we are and transforms us into what He wants us to become. He does it as an act of mercy and grace—not because we deserve it or earn it. Rejoice in His forgiveness of Tamar and of you!!


If you would like to study more about women in the Bible, you will find my recently published book entitled"Women Just Like Us" available on Amazon. 

They Were Women Just Like Us

Do you ever wonder what it was like to live in the world of Tamar or Phoebe or the Queen of Sheba? I've wondered a lot about their lives in the world of the Bible. I've been reading and connecting again with some of these women whose lives are recorded in God's Word. 

Their lives inspire me to be all that I can be. I rejoice in the way God used them and am reminded that God can use me too. 
I see their weaknesses and failures and I rejoice that God never gives up on imperfect people.

I think I'll do some more study of some of these women and post those studies on this blog. I'm just learning and I welcome your comments and feedback.

If you would like to study more about women in the Bible, you will find my recently published book entitled "Women Just Like Us" available on Amazon. 

Genesis 1:1 "In the Beginning God . . ."

Route 66 – Genesis 1:1

“In the Beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

The first verse on Route 66 through Alliance Redwoods is the first verse in the first book of the Bible.
Genesis begins with a simple statement, “In the beginning God . . .” No argument about whether there is a God or what that God may be like or what He may expect of us—just a simple affirmation that God existed “in the beginning.”

John 1:1-2 says it this way, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning” (NIV84).

When I hike in Yosemite National Park or travel through the back-roads of the United States I wonder how anyone can possibly not know that there is a Creator. So much variety and so much beauty could not possibly have happened by time +chance+nothing. Someone imagined it and then created it. The question we should be asking is not “How did it happen?” The question should be “Who is responsible for this breath taking beauty?”

The answer is found in the very first verse of the Bible and the number one posting of Route 66 . . . “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”  Later in the New Testament book of Hebrews we find these words, "By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible" (Hebrews 11:3 NIV84). 

Genesis 1:1 is a simple statement but it is a very important step in our journey of faith. In the beginning God, our Father, spoke a word and the universe we know came into being. That is what men and women of faith believe--and that is the God we worship.

Redwood Trees are found only in California.
God surely smiled as He planted them!

Route 66—Alliance Redwoods

In the beautiful hills of Northern California there is a Christian Camp that means a great deal to me. It is situated among the majestic redwood trees of the Coast Range Mountains, sheltered in a misty valley along Dutch Bill Creek. There God’s people retreat to worship and praise the Creator of all that surrounds them. Many activities are available at Alliance Redwoods but what I especially enjoy when I retreat there are the many trails. Because of the location of the camp along the creek, all the trails lead uphill and hiking the trails at Alliance is strenuous but well worth the effort. God and I meet on those trails.

Any hiker who is not inclined to remember God is forcefully reminded of Him by the Route 66 signs that pop up every now and then. There are 66 signs, one for each book of the Bible, not in any particular order. They are placed randomly and finding them all is quite an effort. 

Will you hike with me and think about the verses we encounter? Perhaps we will memorize some of them so that we can continue to meditate on their meaning.